Dealing with negative pressure
Learn to recognise the signs. If you feel a bit scared, how does your body tell you?
- Your legs feel shaky.
- Your mouth feels dry.
- Your tummy feels full of 'butterflies' or you feel sick.
- Your heart beats faster.
- Your head feels hot - or cold.
If you tune in to your feelings, you will be able to recognise when your body isn't comfortable, and your mind will try to tell your body what to do next.
Choosing what to do
You need to take charge here. Stop and think. Ask yourself some questions.
- Could this be trouble? Will it break the law? Will it break the school or home rules?
- Will people in authority be angry with me or disappointed?
- Will someone be hurt - their body or their feelings?
- Will I be safe?
- Do I feel good about this?
- Assess the situation - think about what is happening.
If someone is asking you to do something that is good and won't lead to trouble for someone, they will not say things like.....
"Everyone does it"
"No one will know"
"You're chicken"
"Who's going to find out?"
"Don't be a wuss"
"Go on I dare you"
Make a good choice
Think:
- do I want to do this? [What is your body telling you?]
- what good things could happen?
- what bad things could happen?
- Take action to avoid trouble
- Think quickly.
Decide which strategy to use for saying NO.
- If this is a situation where you are being bullied or you might be in danger, then you must ensure your safety first. This might mean agreeing to think about it and then saying 'NO' when you are in a safer place, or not alone.
How to say no
These are some ways that have worked for kids who wanted to say no. - Just say No! Keep on saying it.
- Leave, so that you can't be persuaded.
- Pretend you haven't heard and walk away.
- Make an excuse. "Can't stop now, got to go....."
- Talk about something else that they are interested in and don't let them change the subject.
- Laugh. "I thought you said… You've got to be joking!" Then change the subject or leave - still laughing.
- Pretend to be shocked or amazed. Give friendly advice: "That could be a dumb thing to do. Whose idea was it? You're too smart to get into that."
- Say, "I'm not doing this because I'm your friend and I don't want to see you get into trouble."
- Say, "That's a bit unkind. How would you feel if someone did [said] that to you?"
- Say, "Everybody's different, even you."
- Say, "You're entitled to your opinion, I'm entitled to mine."
- Whatever you do, speak quickly and firmly. Make it clear that your mind is made up and you don't want to talk about it any more.
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